Again, I was reading DTS’ kindred spirit and devotions for a long time …and after a long time. God was helping me to analyze my heart and how much I have fallen from all three.

Easily getting angered…speaking unkind words…showing less grace…speaking and criticize ministers and works…all things that I wanted to get rid of in the early days of Christ.

But, when I was deeply hurt, I was struggling to keep my ideologies with reality. How will a church get upset with me if I am taking Indian (who ended up Indians) to the American church I regularly attend. In fact the Indian church existed only after two or three years after I came to Pittsburgh.

When this is happening, my pastor is criticizing me for other reason and hurt me deeply. I felt I don’t have anybody and started to take out the hurt, frustration and anger on my family and this coincides or followed Jonathan’s birth. It was struggle for year after Jonathan was born though we were blessed immensely because of his arrival.

In fact, some have the audacity to say to my wife that I don’t like the Indian Church. One thing I have learnt in this year is to ignore man’s word. How wrong they are! At the end God will reveal the intention of every man’s heart and each one will have his own reward.

Though I don’t have anything against anybody, all these experiences are making me stronger but have made my flesh come out more often that I had wished for. It was a time to know it means to follow Christ to show forgiveness and facing circumstances that we cannot understand with trust in Jesus, the creator.

Love is a choice. There is no reason why God should love me .But He does for He knows that there is no hope for me other than Him. And, He extends his loving kindness to me everyday for I need him everyday.

Prayer life and Bible reading have been hit hard because of so many changes in life recently but God is bringing me back, ….stronger. There is still earning in my heart to be like him …especially to show immense kindness to my wife to whom I have not been graceful enough. I shouldn’t let others dictate how we run our family.

I have come to understand that being busy is more of a curse than of a blessing. I have slowed down more and focus more on loving, unity and perfecting in holiness and above all to cloth Christ.

KS Exclusive: Dr. Charles Stanley on Persevering in Ministry

By Charles Stanley

Spring 2009 vol. 33, no. 1

Charles Stanley on Handling the Demands

During a visit to our campus last year, Dr. Charles Stanley took a few moments to talk with us about life in ministry.

KS: How do you keep up with the demands of news and reading?

CS: I don’t try to keep up with everything that’s going on in the world. The central focus of my life is the Word of God. And my question every week is, “What do people need? What are they crying for? What are they hurting about? What does God have to say about it?” I read the Word of God. It’s not the only thing I read—I read commentaries and other things. But my primary interest is, “How do I teach the Word of God in such a fashion that people’s lives will be changed?”

KS: What suggestions do you have for those who are burned out?

CS: First of all, if you’re burned out, you have to ask why. The first time I heard this I didn’t like it, but if you’re burned out either your relationship with God is not right or you’re doing something in the wrong way. You have to admit, “What am I doing that’s not the will of God?”

On one occasion I got laid up for three solid months. I was doing three TV programs and pastoring. Jesus said, “Come apart and rest awhile.” I say if you don’t come apart, you’ll come apart.

Early in my ministry, I read biographies about how people really sacrificed, and I got legalistic about it. But one night I awoke at 2 a.m. from a dead sleep, and the Lord said, “Do you want to reach your full potential?” I said I did. “Then keep your heart clean, your mind clear, a balanced schedule, a healthy body, right relationships, and the faith to obey me.” I couldn’t write them down fast enough.  At seventy-five, I realized if I was going to still be going at 95 like Dr. Pentecost, I would have to preach six weeks and take off six. Not long ago a woman in my congregation told me, “I like you taking these vacations. Because when you return, there’s something special going on.”

KS: What do you consider the hardest part of ministry?

CS: The most difficult part of ministry is probably the control of my time. I’m very blessed at this point in my life where there are a lot of things I don’t have to do. But I’ll never forget being a pastor of a small church where I had to do everything. And the management of time is a major, major critical area. I have to decide if I’m going to exercise. I have to decide about the family. I have to decide if I’m going to have private devotions. I have to decide how much time I’ll spend preparing for a message. What about the house, the car, this and that? All those are there all the time. And having a personal, intimate relationship with Jesus has to be the central focus.

My friend Moncy just called when I was heading home and asked me whether I can join the prayer group and share God’s word with the group. It was not only a blessing to me but it was also a great encouragement to my tired soul.

I am praying that God will restore my passion and will help me preach the gospel with power and purity and integrity.

Pastor Amalraj preached from Ezekiel 47 on four different levels of experiencing Christ. It was a great message.

Glad Pens won the 7th game. Just got a Honda Lawn Mower but didn’t know how to do it. Need to ask Doug on how to do it.

It is 12:43 a.m. time to go to bed!

When I was studying at REC, now NITT, I have a dear family to whom I had witnessed about Jesus. As I was driving to work I heard from my Dad that my Aunt passed away because of liver cancer.

She was very dear to me and was so sweet. I didn’t call or talk to her for a long time but heard from mother six months ago that she was very sick. It reminds me that whether we are a believer or non-believer, “death comes to all and makes us all equal”.

It reminds that we will stand before him for sure and there is only one life. Let us live it full for Jesus.

Lately, It has been my heart to not forget those God has given us in our lives to bless us and the things that they did for us.

Jasmine went with Debbie and Kelly to Sears and Gap and they blessed us with many dresses for Jonathan.

Anand blessed us with flight money when we travelled to India.

Shelley and Evangeline blessed us with money for wedding expenses which we were eventually able to pay back after two years

Ben helping out in flight ticket to Baton Rouge

Jasmine’s friends helping out in reception and wedding expenses and arrangements.

Anish and Gladys giving us a week to stay in their homes.

Jeback and Thambi uncle in helping paying out my sister’s loan

And so many ….

But, we should remember these many people and every one that God gave us to help us…to help us so that we will never forget.

God reminded Joshua to take stones from Jordan so that his descendants will never forget the miracle of God.

The Windows Live Writer makes life much easier. I finally feel my mind is free from a lots of anxieties and burden recently. From the time we got married and until now, there has been a constant struggle in my mind and heart in being obedient to God.

One thing I definitely lack is a spiritual discipline. I feel this is another time of stretching in my heart to overcome the things that I am still struggling with. Sometimes, I am tempted to think that God is not strong enough to bring me out this situation because all the while I am just looking at my strength and not HIS.

“My grace is sufficient for you” has been the verse of continuous encouragement in all the failures and confusion and constant attacks on mind and character. Work is taking too much time that I am feeling I have so little time to spend with family and church. Friday’s Bible study at our home has been going very good and keep us in constant fellowship we need.

Spiritually, I am just longing to spend time with God’s word but lacking discipline as well as the things of the world are chocking in producing fruits. Oh! God help me! I long to see the power of prayer and obedience but it is just a tough fight.

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Recently, I have felt God has increased my strength to overcome many temptations. It is not that easy to fast anymore. The words that deeply hurt me come back often and taunt me. I would like to forgive but it just opens my wounds and puts some fire over it.

Today, Jasmine, Jonathan and I went for a walk. The temperature has just gone over 60s. Pittsburgh weather is very volatile. But, the songs of God are coming back to my heart. This is an answered prayer as I used to sing all the time. But, the songs left once I started focusing on problems and as God stretched me. But, I prayed that God will fill my heart with songs for Him and He is quietly answering.

It has been a while since I have posted anything to my blog. The year of 2008 and 2009 were years of spiritual struggels like I have never seen before. It was full of stress and lack of love and bitterness and tiredness trying to overtake me. I was becoming very restless because of lack of prayer and bible reading.

Anyways, now Iam feeling very peaceful but work is killing me. By the time I come home, it is dark and I am just too tired to help my wife at home and doing some home chores. Anyways, things have been changing recently and I am trying to go to work early and come back early.

Deep inside, there is longing for me to spend more time with God and becoming more obedient every day. After the struggle and bitter experience with a brother at church, going to church is such a challenge just to make sure that there is full forgiveness in my heart…it is not that easy to forgive. I understand now how much Jesus has forgiven his enemies.

But, I am longing for the time my heart will be gentle and quiet before God and men. God has been teaching me not to defend myself but instead commit myself to the one who judges righteously. It is another year that my character is being built and the man that God wants to create within me is being created by the fire.

Just came back from airport picking up Anand and Christy and Joshua. Spoke with my parents and again they want us to come back and settle in Kodaikanal.

Let the good work He has began let Him complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. I am planning to do post more things regularly. Can’t wait to see God reveal His plan to us.

just few minutes after he was born

It has been a month since our first son Jonathan was born. He has been a true delight to both of us. Everybody wants to carry him. He has been such  a blessing to us. He cries only if he is hungry or need a diaper change.

Here are some pictures of him

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It has been six months since we have come back from India. My parents want me to come back to India for good. But, we are still not sure what exactly God’s will is.

But, meanwhile God was at work… Our son Jonathan was born on June, 19th, 2008. It was a great experience being with your wife to see her give birth. It is a miraculous experience. J asmine started having contractions on the night of June 18th at 6:30 p.m. Adjusting with in-laws in the house during this time was a challenge.

They want to give the best for their child and I want the best for my wife. That is why I asked them to stay at house when we went to the hospital and to the delivery room.

We waited until 2:30 a.m. before the contractions became 5-1-1. Then we called the doctor to analyze the situation. Few months ago, we took delivery class that helped us to get through this difficult time and tense situation. By the time we went to the delivery room, she was 5 cm dilated. She got admitted into the hospital and by 11:30 a.m. next day, she came out of anesthesia. She pushed for two and half hours and then had Jonathan out. It was one of most emotional time in my life. Jasmine cried in pain and I had back pain help her push.

Anyway, God was with us. Jonathan was born at 2:42 p.m. at Magee Women’s. Jasmine and I thought it will be a girl with so much confidence. God gave us a boy. Irrespective of whether it is a boy or girl, we are so thankful to God for this baby. He has already been blessing. Many nights are interrupted. Hey, but that is definitely not a problem.

Our in-laws are here and initial rough times are gone. I have learned a lot and have become a better person. They are my Christian parents and in-laws love my parents. We had a tough time selecting our son’s name. My in-laws wanted to name him Joel. We wanted to name him Jonathan. I still get tensed when to draw the line. In our Indian culture parents take privilege in naming children. Not that they want to exert control but thats wants it finally turns out.

Having been here for eight years, I started dreading out giving “freedom” and always want to change them to all the things I want them to become. Anyway, God has taught me in the recent days that I cannot change anybody but it is important that He changes things that He wants to change.

Back home, my parents wants us to come back to India for good. My Dad wants to send money to us to clear all our debts so we could come home. It has been six months and he is going through such a difficult time. I am just torn between helping my parents and being with my family here. What shall we do? Only time will tell what God wants us to do.

I have started reading the Bible little bit more but still need to read more. I have decided to spend time with God in a more disciplined way. I want to do more for God but I am still dragging a lot of things that does not allow me run.

Work has been very hectic but it will help if Jasmine could support financially next year with our new addition to our family.

Finally, We are in Niagara Falls, ON, Canada after a long time of planning before our first baby comes. Jasmine and I had a great time walking near the falls and having delicious foods the whole day. This stay also has become a spiritual retreat for me. I felt I have “lost” some spiritual vitality and could not spend time reading or praying because of increase load at work and at home.

God has spoken to me again and again in this trip, especially on being a house built for God and not to give place for the devil. What type of house shall we build for God to dwell? Have we forgotten that his dwelling is in our midst. Some Hindus believe that they have God (they do not know who) dwells among them. Some believe (incorrectly) that they themselves are a part of God and therefore will not search for a God who is the creator of the Universe.

Such people should think twice about this. People should recognize that God was there before they were born. So, there is a God who saw their forming in the womb and their birth. What stops us from then going after the true God? Our pride and Satan.

Though invisible, the only true and eternal God is willing to reveal himself. Bible says in Romans that his “invisible attributes” are clearly to be seen by “all” people and admired and God be praised. Niagara Falls is such a great example for God’s glory. We go and see its beauty and majesty and even afraid of its roaring. We don’t become Niagara Falls! We will not become Niagara Falls and we were not Niagara Falls (NF) before. NF was there even before I was born. I will be offended if somebody

calls be NF for I am not NF and I am a human being.

If we cannot even compare ourselves with a creation, how much more we should tremble before we compare ourselves to “THE” creator of the Universe who fills the heavens and the earth!!